fandomsandpuns:

therainingkiwi:

acertainmaybe:

a-dreaming-equestrian:

no more ‘vampires who correct history books’

more vampires who don’t remember
more vampires saying ‘i don’t fucking know man, google it’
more vampires not remembering important historical figures
more vampires not recalling centuries worth of history
more vampires saying ‘ that was at least 300 years ago, how the FUCK could i remember that detail?’
more vampires whose brains work like human brains

More vampires who 300 years later can’t remember what was the truth and what was the lie they told to get out of trouble.

More vampires who are like, “I don’t know, man, I spent most of that decade in an opium den.”

More vampires who weren’t paying attention because they didn’t think it would be important.

More vampires who don’t know because there was lot of conflicting gossip and they don’t want to point any fingers.

More vampires who are just bad at dates. “Back in 1620, or was it 1645, wait, what year is it now?”

More vampires who were on a totally different continent when it happened, so get off their back and stop asking them questions already.

YES to all of this but also consider: vampires who only remember the most trivial stuff.

“Oh yeah, the only thing I remember about the American Revolution was this nice candlemaker I met sometime, and she was wearing this really cute red shawl…”

“Uhhh I don’t remember much about the fall of Rome but there was this one fucking cobblestone right outside the coliseum…”

@farvann

markvincentofdesertbluffs:

“There’s a monster under my bed!”
“Yes. He watches over you at night and chases away your nightmares.”

“There’s a monster in my closet!”
“Yes. She loves the smell of the laundry detergent I use, and she’s busy trying to organize your shoes.”

“There’s a monster under the stairs!”
“Yes. She collects spiders and he makes sure you don’t trip while going to get water.”

“There’s a monster right outside my window!”
“Yes. He’s pulling weeds from the garden and protecting us from burglars.”

“There’s a monster behind the couch!”
“Yes. He’s eating all the crumbs you left behind and hiding pennies in the cushions.”

“Oh. Then good night.”
“Good night, Dear.”

kingcheddarxvii:

otter-wraith:

Imagine baby werewolves for a second

Like little babies able to turn into little tiny werewolves

And they act like puppies instead of vicious monsters that eat anything that moves

Little balls of fluff squeak-howling at the moon and play fighting with teddy bears and each other and just. LICKING. EVERY. MOVING. THING.

IMAGINE BABY WEREWOLVES

If you think this post is cute and sounds like a good time then you’re in luck because this movie exists

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