Tag: tes

perifucker:

benepla:

perifucker:

benepla:

benepla:

i think the best practical joke any video game pulled was Skyrim opening their game making you think the rebellion was this amazing noble cause against an oppressive government (as most fantasy universes frame it), but then you pretty much immediately find out that the stormcloaks are just racists with swords and the empire isn’t really all that terrible save your standard government problems. 

yall are gonna have to stop sending me messages about how im an imperial government of tamriel apologist

the greybeards aren’t any help either. or the blades. Skyrim is just a bunch of rednecks who hate each other.

THE DARK BROTHERHOOD WAS GOOD TO EVERYONE

we all love those wacky murderers

Accurate description of TES main playable races

sovder:

  • Altmer: elves no-one likes including themselves
  • Bosmer: shapeshifting forest ninja elves with interesting culinary tastes
  • Dunmer: insect-riding, chain-smoking slaver elves
  • Orc: (former)elves no-one likes despite being awesome
  • Argonian: lizardmen who are the spawn of ancient god-like alien fungi trees
  • Khajiit: Cats. Also got so high they reached one of the moons
  • Imperial: the Roman Empire in a jungle. The jungle was retconned
  • Redguard: desert dwellers. May have literally sunk their previous continent with a massive spirit sword
  • Nord: buff dudes that can yell at problems to make them go away
  • Breton: half-elf, half-human, politicking, backstabbing witchmen who are always represented as boring generic medieval folks in all games

mehofkirkwall:

bubonickitten:

the college of winterhold questline in skyrim, more like “hey we’re mages and this is jackass. dangerous, questionable research is our passion! there are no standard practices or procedures, just try not to become the next augur of dunlain or anything. ok now we’re going to go on a field trip to desecrate some ancient burial chambers and if we by any chance find a sinister Hell Orb, we will do the cautious thing and transport it back to the college immediately. there’s no way this could possibly go wrong. also has anyone seen our last batch of apprentices lately? they all seem to have disappeared under a mysterious yet unrelated set of circumstances.”

#meanwhile your fellow apprentices are doing their best to kill you#brelyna like ‘i need to make you a green cow because of reasons’#j’zargo like ‘hey test out my incredibly volatile draugr exploding death scrolls’#calm the fuck down feline cave johnson unlike you i do not have nine lives (i too am a khajiit but i already used up eight ok)#skyrim#the elder scrolls 

deathclawspine13:

Unusual Skyrim Weather conditions. The sky turned red, and the water would reflect it, so everything looked like a nightmare. As I would get closer to the water, it would return to its natural color. This happened around 7:34. I waited an hour, and it turned to aurora. Weird.

Note: This happened at Wyrmstooth, which, if you don’t know, is a mod for Skyrim. I’d recommend it. 🙂

the-orator:

One of my favorite things about the TES series is the sort of overreaching theme of the player character being claimed by a daedra and I don’t mean the daedric side quests. You had Azura in Morrowind, Sheogorath in Oblivion and Hermaeus Mora in Skyrim.

I just love the idea of the protagonist making a name for themselves, accomplishing these near impossible quests and becoming extremely powerful, being named the hero of the land

and then some daedric prince basically goes