1. Bloody – Damn. Socially acceptable to use, some of my teachers use it, and my gran does too. You can’t use this enough.
2. Arse – ass but more derogatory. You wouldn’t say this to your grandparents, generally. Parents, it depends who you are.
3. Fiver – £5. Everyone says this all the time.
4. Tenner – £10. Ditto fiver.
5. Quid – £1. Ditto tenner.
6. Grand – £1000. Obviously lesser said than fiver unless you’re Ed Sheeran or someone but people normally say this.
7. Chav – i think Americans call them townies??
8. Mum – do i need to explain? and no, we don’t say Dud.
9. Nappy – Diaper.
10. Lift – Elevator
11. Pavement – Sidewalk.
12. Cock-up – fuck up.
13. Cakehole – mouth. IE: Shut your cakehole!
14. Bloke – Man. Most people say this.
15. Knackered – tired. “I’m off to bed, me, i’m knackered.” the K is silent.
16. Pear-shaped – gone wrong. “It’s all gone a bit pear-shaped.”
17. ay-up – greeting used in the Midlands/North. sometimes used at the start of a statement or question. “Ay-up, what you doing with that?”
18. Local – nearby pub. “I’m off for a drink at the local.”
19. Fit – hot. “He’s fit, him.”
20. Bollocks – balls. Sometimes used as an exclamation, like “Shit!”
21. this is important. Fanny – vagina. FANNY DOES NOT MEAN BUTT IN ENGLAND. IF YOU CALL SOMEONE A FANNY TO SOMEONE IN THE STREET YOU MAY GET PUNCHED
22. Shag – screw. Shag is less derogatory than screw.
23. Uni – short for university. Is that your college?
24. Sixth form – Junior and Senior year at high school.
25. Secondary school – 6th grade to Sophomore year.
26. Year 10 – Freshman. Year 9 – Eighth Grade and so on.
27. Reception – Preschool.
28. Telly – television.
29. Chips – Fries.
30. Crisps – Chips.
31. Full Stop – Period. The punctuation kind.
32. Bugger – i don’t really know what this translates to. You’d say “oh bugger i’ve lost my keys.”
33. Crap – Less derogatory form of Shit.
34. Wanker – technically, this means someone who jerks off, but it’s used as an insult.
35. Dickhead – another insult.
36. Twat – Some people use this as an insult, but, as I discovered a while ago, it also means vagina.
37. Cunt – vagina. DO NOT INCLUDE THIS WORD IN ANY WRITING, IT’S THE MOST OFFENSIVE WORD IN THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.
38. Autumn – Fall
39. Biscuit – cookie.
40. Bonnet (a car bonnet) – hood.
41. Boot (of a car) – Trunk
42. Flannel – washcloth
43. Scouser – someone from Liverpool
44. Manc – someone from Manchester
45. Geordie – Someone from Newcastle
46. Brummie – someone from Birmingham
47. Dodgy – suspicious/not quite right. “Ooh, he looks a bit dodgy/My pen’s being dodgy!”
48. Tad – A bit. “Are you cold?” “Just a tad.”
49. Ta – thank you. Used up north a lot.
50. Absobloodylutely – a very enthusiastic yes.
51. Fortnight – two weeks.
52. Gutted – Devastated
53. Chuffed – proud, happy of something someone’s done for you.
Cheeky Nandos: something you’ll never understand until you’ve been accepted into the brohood by the archbishop of banterbury and gone a night on the wazz.
dry laughter: you tell a joke, a relative joke, one about political figures and pop culture. it is a joke all can understand. they laugh. it is a quiet laugh, a single sound, a “tch” or a “hah”. they can’t meet your eyes, not entirely. it is a laugh of familiarity, but bitter at the same time. they’re laughing because they’ve been there, too.
incredulous laughter: you tell a story. it is wild, imaginative, you throw many adjectives and animated hand gestures in the midst. but it’s true, or you believe it’s true. they laugh. their mouth is open, and smiling, but their eyes are narrowed and confused. judging, trying to find some fault in your tale. they’re laughing as a challenge, to break your confident facade.
wild laughter: you do not need to be present at wild laughter. instead. you’d rather be the observer, far away. they laugh. it’s musical, and loud, their eyes wide with a kind of animalistic fury. a part of them has awoken, something you never wanted to see. they’re laughing because they’re in control, and you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.
polite laughter: you tell a joke to a stranger, an acquaintance, a subordinate. but it is tinged with something offensive, something crude. they wince a little. it is not enough for you to fully notice, not until later. their laugh is faint, a few “hah”s or gentle chuckles. it is forcibly genuine, it is good enough for you, but their eyes, they are dull and irritated. they’re laughing because they are not in a position to challenge you. not yet.
private laughter: you tell a serious story. you do not mean for it to have any humor involved. they laugh. it is not exuberant, just a single little giggle and a quirk of their lips. you notice, offended. they’re laughing not to be inappropriate. despite their awful timing, they’re laughing because their story reminded them of their own life, some hurdle they’ve gone through. and, privately, they wish you’d talk to them about it.
bitter laughter: you address a friend on a touchy subject. an abusive partner, their failure at work, a tidbit of their life they want to bottle up and forget. they laugh, and it is cold. there is an edge to it, and it lasts uncomfortably long. their eyes are angry, hurt, and distrusting. they’re laughing because you don’t understand, and they thought you did.
genuine laughter: you do not need to tell a forced joke, or an “interesting” story, but it wouldn’t hurt to have one. it could be a situation, or just the right delivery. they laugh, and it is beautiful. their whole face lightens up. their eyes are content, and joyous, and sometimes watering. they’re laughing because you make them happy, and it is that simple.
Sticking a landing will royally fuck up your joints and possibly shatter your ankles, depending on how high you’re jumping/falling from. There’s a very good reason free-runners dive and roll.
Hand-to-hand fights usually only last a matter of seconds, sometimes a few minutes. It’s exhausting work and unless you have a lot of training and history with hand-to-hand combat, you’re going to tire out really fast.
Arrows are very effective and you can’t just yank them out without doing a lot of damage. Most of the time the head of the arrow will break off inside the body if you try pulling it out, and arrows are built to pierce deep. An arrow wound demands medical attention.
Throwing your opponent across the room is really not all that smart. You’re giving them the chance to get up and run away. Unless you’re trying to put distance between you so you can shoot them or something, don’t throw them.
Everyone has something called a “flinch response” when they fight. This is pretty much the brain’s way of telling you “get the fuck out of here or we’re gonna die.” Experienced fighters have trained to suppress this. Think about how long your character has been fighting. A character in a fist fight for the first time is going to take a few hits before their survival instinct kicks in and they start hitting back. A character in a fist fight for the eighth time that week is going to respond a little differently.
ADRENALINE WORKS AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FIGHT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. A lot of times people think that adrenaline will kick in and give you some badass fighting skills, but it’s actually the opposite. Adrenaline is what tires you out in a battle and it also affects the fighter’s efficacy – meaning it makes them shaky and inaccurate, and overall they lose about 60% of their fighting skill because their brain is focusing on not dying. Adrenaline keeps you alive, it doesn’t give you the skill to pull off a perfect roundhouse kick to the opponent’s face.
Swords WILL bend or break if you hit something hard enough. They also dull easily and take a lot of maintenance. In reality, someone who fights with a sword would have to have to repair or replace it constantly.
Fights get messy. There’s blood and sweat everywhere, and that will make it hard to hold your weapon or get a good grip on someone.
A serious battle also smells horrible. There’s lots of sweat, but also the smell of urine and feces. After someone dies, their bowels and bladder empty. There might also be some questionable things on the ground which can be very psychologically traumatizing. Remember to think about all of the character’s senses when they’re in a fight. Everything WILL affect them in some way.
If your sword is sharpened down to a fine edge, the rest of the blade can’t go through the cut you make. You’ll just end up putting a tiny, shallow scratch in the surface of whatever you strike, and you could probably break your sword.
ARCHERS ARE STRONG TOO. Have you ever drawn a bow? It takes a lot of strength, especially when you’re shooting a bow with a higher draw weight. Draw weight basically means “the amount of force you have to use to pull this sucker back enough to fire it.” To give you an idea of how that works, here’s a helpful link to tell you about finding bow sizes and draw weights for your characters. (CLICK ME)
If an archer has to use a bow they’re not used to, it will probably throw them off a little until they’ve done a few practice shots with it and figured out its draw weight and stability.
People bleed. If they get punched in the face, they’ll probably get a bloody nose. If they get stabbed or cut somehow, they’ll bleed accordingly. And if they’ve been fighting for a while, they’ve got a LOT of blood rushing around to provide them with oxygen. They’re going to bleed a lot.
Here’s a link to a chart to show you how much blood a person can lose without dying. (CLICK ME)
If you want a more in-depth medical chart, try this one. (CLICK ME)
Hopefully this helps someone out there. If you reblog, feel free to add more tips for writers or correct anything I’ve gotten wrong here.
SHORT STORY/ONE-SHOT/ONE CHAPTER/COMICS 101 CRASH COURSE RAPIDPUNCHES’ STYLE
I’m NOT an expert but I have some working experience I can share. You need experience to become great. Here is my set of instructions, tips, and notes towards making a 12-page comic.
My method is to work backwards. Personally I work “backwards” because the end is the only wholly necessary page or set of panels in the story. Everything in between is open to editing and hacking as the most important moments are emphasized and chosen.
I even plan/draw the end page first. The end is the last page a reader sees- so spend your freshest energies on making it as epic, memorable, poignant, and beautiful as #$%^&.
If you draw the pages from 1 to 12 sequentially you run the risk of fresh to burnt out- an uneven distribution of drawing skill. (treat the first page and the 2-page splash as you would the last).
Roughly… the steps to making your comic is
WRITE
PLAN THUMBNAILS
DRAW
…BEGIN THE WRITING (DO NOT SKIP NO MATTER WHAT) like this, in this order:
How does it end?
Does the protag succeed or fail?
What is the turning point of their story?
What the protag do that led them there?
Where does it start?
Who is this protag?
EXAMPLE:
Guy gets mauled by a bear.
This is a fail on the guy’s half.
The bear must eat something or he’ll starve to death.
It’s the guy’s fault the bear can’t find other food. He caused the avalanche that buried all the cabins.
The guy is yodeling in an avalanche zone.
The guy is some guy.
CREATING “THE BEAT SHEET” Take the above stuff and reorder it to make sense.
This guy yodels.
Echoes roll.
Snow slides down.
Avalanche buries the mountain.
Cabins are engulfed.
This bear has no access to cabin food and garbage.
Bear eats this guy.
Expand. Blow up important beats for emphasis. Keep less important beats brief.
This guy is hiking in the snowy mountains.
He comes across an avalanche warning sign.
There is nobody around but him.
A dumb expression forms over his face and he yodels.
Echoes roll but nothing nearby is moved.
At the top of the mountain the snow drifts twitch.
Guy, satisfied, hikes away from there still yodeling.
Frozen snow cracks.
Snow puffs billow and great slabs of ice crash down the mountain side.
Guy sees this and hightails it to safer ground.
Animals, people, are all panicking and getting pushed over by the rushing snow.
Cabins are destroyed.
The guy takes cover by an outcropping of rocks, fastens himself securely to the rock face, and waits for the avalanche to die down.
Avalanche dies down.
A lone bear shambles over from the other side of the mountain.
The bear goes to where a cabin used to be (only roof tiles are left). Bear sniffs a dish satellite.
Bear forlornly eats a food wrapper.
Bear tries to dig.
Guy comes down from the rocks he as climbing and sees bear.
Bear stops digging and sees him.
Guy runs.
Bear chases him down.
Bear eats the guy.
BEAT SHEET COMPLETED!!!
After the beat sheet, write up all the sound effects and speech bubbles and conversation/dialogue you want to be in your comic.
Since comics are a visual medium, highest priority is given to the beats. If a story can’t be told with the art without the dialogue– you messed up and it’s time to rethink your life choices.
Try to keep all your text chunks as short as a tweet. Professionally you don’t want more than 25 words per speech bubble and no more than 250 words per page.
Next is translating the beats to pages…
STRUCTURE OVERVIEW:
[1] point of entry, in media res, hero intro
[2][3] conflict. establish conflict, setting, and mood by the third page. [4][5] rising action/false resolution to conflict/investigation
[6][7] turning point/plot twist/epiphany (this one epic image, to page spread is pivotal, spend a lot of effort into creating this)
[8][9] aftermath/“darkness before dawn”/struggle [10][11] recovery/“rise and conquer”/“fall”
[12] resolution/final end/cliffhanger
[front cover][interior] [interior][back cover]
——————–
My maximum per page is nine panels but I’ve seen pages that have way more. I like to have about 3 to 4 panels per row or less but I’ve seen the “rules” broken before. Advanced comic book artists manipulate time with the number of panels and the size of each panel.
remember, DIAGONALS!!! open up an issue of batman, superman, spider man, deadpool or whatever youre reading theyre everywhere.
———-
…DRAW IN THIS ORDER:
Page 12,
Page 6 and 7 (this is typically one large image that takes up the space of two pages),
Page 1,
and then the rest.
ONLY “DEVIATION” ALLOWED:
Page 12 and 1*
Page 6 and 7,
and then the rest.
*Draw the first and last page as a spread in situations where the beginning of the story mirrors the end of the story.
Cover is dead last.
———-
(If at the very end you find out you need more pages and it’s absolutely unavoidable and totally necessary you have to add them in fours. Try to stick to 12 pages for this crash course.)
——————–
FURTHER NOTES:
Plan and draw the pages in spreads (the twos) since this is how it will appear in print and when you submit them to an editor for review guess what, the pages with an exception to the first and last will be reviewed as spreads.
You at most only need one establishing panel of the setting and environment (scene) per page.
Forget “true to life” perspective outside of the establishing panel). Practice diagonal composition of objects and subjects within panels. For dynamism.
You don’t have to present the text all in one go (one paragraph or bubble). You can and should break up paragraphs, sentences, and if you need to single out words– to make smaller, more easily managed bubbles to scatter through the panel.
Less important moments have smaller panels and or lesser detail. More details (or more word bubbles) slow down time. More drawn detail also creates a concentration of values (it’s darker and sometimes combines together as one shape or mass)
Know your light sources. Control the blacks. Control the values.
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