Venom, growling: The way I see it, Eddie… *slams Eddie into a wall* …We… *Eddie screams, eyes turn completely black* …Can do… *Unhinges his jaw and bites off someone’s head* …Whatever we want
*bone-crushing noises* *more screaming*
Some grim and serious trailer voice: We all have our own… *dramatic pause* …Demons
(Venom 2018, the movie)
Venom, yelling at Eddie from a broken bathroom mirror: Dumb little bitch, I’ve reminded you to get tater tots on our way home 15 fucking times and you still forgot? Piece of shit. Useless scum of the Earth
Eddie:
Eddie: Parasite
Venom, voice breaking: You take that back. You take that back Right Now
A good friend who knows how my depression works warned me: This movie takes a VERY hard turn to the grimdark compared to the previous movies (esp. Black Panther and Ragnarok) and is extremely upsetting and frankly, cruel to the viewer.
I’m very glad I was forewarned because frankly this is the kind of thing that would have sent me into a depressive spiral. I *Strongly* advice against taking kids to this movie.
If you want more details, HUGE SPOILERS under the cut: (if on mobile, use tag filtering or scroll past now.
– Deadpool is insecure
– Deadpool has chronic pain
– Deadpool is submissive in bed – Deadpool is pansexual – Deadpool lifts up his mask so Hawkeye can read his lips
– Deadpool is a blonde
– Deadpool’s initials are WWW
– Deadpool had an abusive father
– Deadpool’s mother died from cancer
– Deadpool fell in love with a teenager
– Deadpool left her because he didn’t want to hurt her
– Deadpool had a daughter
– Deadpool didn’t believe she was his because she was too beautiful
– Deadpool had to be dragged away from his daughter’s dead body by Cap and Wolverine
– Deadpool carries Hello Kitty band aids
– Deadpool is good with kids
– Deadpool can’t be killed by Ghost Rider because he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong
– Deadpool hates himself
– Deadpool used to curl up in a ball and mumble about his skin hurting
– Deadpool is married to the queen of the undead
– Deadpool reads his own comics
Conclusion:
Wade Winston Wilson is a beautiful man who must be protected.
Let’s not forget:
– Deadpool knows sign language – Deadpool took a bullet for Hawkeye because Clint can’t regenerate but he can – Deadpool has tried to kill himself numerous times before – Deadpool turned his back on DEATH ITSELF to help his fellow inmates escape The Farm – Deadpool spent months trying to save Cable – Deadpool was in turn saved by Cable numerous times – Seriously, freaking Jesus-messiah-complex Cable saw something in Deadpool worth saving – Deadpool is a beautiful, wonderfully complex character that I will fight to protect
– Deadpool and Cable refer to the end of their friendship as “our divorce” – Deadpool bought diapers for Hope – Deadpool has a dog
– Deadpool didn’t become like his dad
– Deadpool is a good person
– Deadpool spends all his money on ammo and pain meds
– Deadpool is broke 75% of the time
– Deadpool tells kids that he’s Spider-Man
– Deadpool refused to look at Spider-Man’s face when he swapped costumes with him because “bros don’t out bros” – Deadpool did work in the Spider-Man suit, but REFUSED TO KILL while wearing the Spider-Man suit because Peter wouldn’t have killed and he didn’t want Peter’s rep to be linked to murder.
Deadpool!
I LOVE DEADPOOL!!
that last one about refusing to kill is the coolest one I didn’t know
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