Tried to make Guzma in Sims 3 and one of the first things he did was gross Giovanni out by eating dirt in front of him. I think the bosses will love their new roommate.
IM LAUGHIN can i just.. illustrate this
i was scrolling down this like “if maxie doesn’t look even slightly excited at this prospect…………” and you delivered im so glad
D&D players will always come up with the most bizarre, workable solutions to problems when you least expect it.
In one game I ran, the party needed to find a magical artifact and didn’t have any idea where it was at all. So they decided to use Commune to figure it out – but Commune as a spell only lets you ask yes or no questions, and get an answer out of it. So they took a map of the continent, drew a line down half of it, and asked “Is the artifact on this half of the map?”. They then continued, narrowing the artifact’s location down further and further, until they were able to pinpoint the exact building in question.
character concept: two people who have been reincarnated for thousands of years and have always found eachother but instead of being in love they just fucking hate eachother
I’m not sure. Hey lovely people who have taken me over half way to a cool million! If you’d like to reblog again, I’d love that, if not, I still love you, and hope you’re having a great day. I’m gonna go do some stand up tonight.
god come on we’re so close. this is like the only meaningful thing that this website could ever achieve
If this can make it before December is over something nice will have happened in 2016.
i hope something wonderful happens to this man if he makes it to that magical million or not
“Why I Wasn’t Contracted to Write Beauty and the Beast” by I have no idea who, and desperately want to know. If anyone does, please tell me!
Edit: Through knmajorblogs I have discovered the genius behind this piece of art. The genius in question is LordJazor ! Thank you!
Caption: [narrated by a deep voice worthy of Morgan Freeman with generic fairy tale music playing in the background]
“Once upon a time, in a faraway land, the young prince lived in a shining castle. Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was an absolute douche canoe.
“But then, one winter’s night, the ugliest human you have ever seen, short of the two penny crap you see in movies like Underworld or whatever, came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold.
“After evacuating his bowels for four minutes, the prince sneered at the gift and told the CGI mishap to get fucked. But she warned him, not to be such an apocalyptic fuckhat to strangers and that beauty is found within.
“In an effort to be slightly more polite but failing miserably, he told her to crawl in the nearest hole and roll about in it screaming, ‘north north squig.’ But instead, the old woman’s ugliness melted away, and she was hella fine.
“The prince bitched his face right off. But it was too late, for she has seen that he really was a fuck. And as punishment she transformed him into an Ozzy Osborne mistake and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there.
“Ashamed of his now seemingly odd but not necessarily completely disarming appearance, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. Because cellphone signal didn’t do a wad of shit in the mountains and there wasn’t a cell phone tower for like, bunches of years.
“The rose, the aforementioned tricky bent had offered was truly enchanted as all get out, which would bloom until he was finally legally able to guzzle wine like tomorrow’s a dream, if he could learn to not be a pile of indigestible fuck, and could find someone who would at least clean up after his constant mess by the time the last petal fell. Then, the spell will be broken.
“If not, well…you know…stuff.
“As the years passed, he fell down the stairs…”
[sounds of screaming and falling down the stairs]
“Oh, I’m sorry, into despair, and lost all hope for who could ever learn to love such a cock waffle.”
DM: The only way you’re playing a bard in this campaign is if you speak entirely in limericks.
Me, a poet: The dust, you’ll wish you bit When my character was green-lit. This won’t be that hard, Playing yon bard, Challenge accepted, you sack of shit.
AllHailMephlis' Blog 